Oh Jim Perdue

Dear Mr. Perdue,

May I call you Jim? I feel like we're close like that since my son has eaten your Perdue Baked Chicken Breast Tenderloins for lunch and dinner. It's the only protein he gets some days.

You see, Jim, Boy Wonder has Autism. He is a very selective eater. Your chicken tenderloins made it past his extensive screening process. So imagine my dismay, when I have been unable to find them in the 4 local food stores that I stalk look for your product in. I'm a resourceful kind of girl so I went and checked your website and found the product is no longer listed there.


Well Jim, Boy Wonder hasn't eaten any chicken in 3 days. I tried your other products and he will have nothing to do with them.  I am currently contemplating cheating on you. I may have to go to Whole Paycheck and buy the only other brand I know he will eat.

But ya know what Jim? Life's tough enough for us. I'm sure I'm not the only Autism Mama who has a kid who would only eat those chicken tenderloins.  Could you please please bring them back? Please? I've attached a picture below just so you know exactly which product Boy Wonder enjoys.

I hope we can continue our relationship, Jim.


Thanks,

J
Boy Wonder's Mom

For My Kids on Mother's Day

Editor's Note: I wrote this post last Mother's Day. It's still relevant. I've only updated the pictures.

For the one who is proving the doctors wrong.

For the one who makes me laugh till I have tears streaming down my face.

For the one who was a total utter surprise but is a joyous smiley baby.

For making me a better person because really you have shown me what matters.

For teaching me what love is really all about.

For the smiles, giggles and utter silliness.

For sleepy hugs.

For I love yous.

For a reason to get up in the morning.

For showing me what real determination  is to each of you.

For the everyday gift of being your Mommy.

I love each and everyone one of you for exactly who you are at this very moment.

Happy Mother’s Day!

I Will NOT

let you limit his future.

let you fail to help him realize his full potential.

let you warehouse him till he ages out.

ever stop fighting for him.

ever stop loving him.

stop fighting for his right to be himself.

I won't stop ever EVER.


Well I won't back down
No I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down No I'll stand my ground, won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world from draggin me down
gonna stand my ground
... and I won't back down

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Swinging To His Own Beat

I took this picture yesterday afternoon as my kids enjoyed their new swingset after weeks of rain and mud. They are all laughing and having a grand time.

When my girls are older, I want them to look at this picture and celebrate their brother's differences. He may not always go in the direction we want him to go in but he gets where he needs to be in his own sweet time. 

And wouldn't the world be a boring boring place if we were all exactly the same?

Umm Beyonce??? The DIVA is after your job.

The Deep End of the Pool

Do you know my fabulous friend Jess over at A Diary of a Mom? Please go read this post of hers before you proceed. I'll wait. Cue Jeopardy Music.

Done? Ok good. Let's get started then.

We swim in the deep end of the autism pool. Maybe not the deepest murkiest part but we are in pretty deep. Yes Boy Wonder is not very verbal. His social skills and play skills fairly non existent. He struggles to express his most basic wants and needs while we struggle to understand him.

But our struggles are just that. OUR struggles not your struggles. While your struggles are in the shallower end pool, they are no less challenging just different.

I've never once wished that Boy Wonder was less autistic, had HFA or Asperger's.  I've wished he didn't have autism at all. I wish no parent ever had to hear,"Your child has autism."

I empathize with your struggles and I celebrate your child's victories. But never once have I thought that your child has it easier then mine. I just think their challenges are different.

I don't want more company down in the deep end of the pool. It's crowded enough down here.

Four Words For World Autism Awareness Day 2011

It's funny how four little words can change your life. Will you marry me? I want a divorce. You have a son. Your son has autism. I've had all of those things said to me. The last two are the only ones that really changed me. The very last one changed me irrevocably.

Four words that change your perception of what you thought the future would hold forever.  Gone forever the blissful ignorance of those kinds of things happen to other people and never ever to you. You become more aware of other kids development.

You learn acronyms, like PRISE, IEP, IDEA, and ABLLS. You learn about DAN Doctors, Bio Med, Floortime, ABA, VBA, ST, OT and PT. You try the  GFCF diet.

You are forever changed. Drastically and radically changed. You stop staying the "R" word. You judge others less. You find compassion and tolerance. Your patience and empathy grows.

You find out who will step up and be a real friend. You find out who will step away. You'll make new friends who are on the same path.

But I can say this with utter certainty, you now have a choice.  You can choose to be bitter over what you think you've lost or you pick yourself and move forward.  Your child standing in front of you. S/He needs you to dig deep and be more adult then you ever have been in your life. 

I promise progress will come sometimes painstakingly slowly and sometimes surprisingly quickly.

Now I have four words for you. You CAN do it.  And that's a promise.