STFU TAPE a Jersey Informercial

Cue smarmy informercial voice........

Have whiny kids???? Teenagers that talk back?  A spouse that talks to hear themselves talk and says random stupid offensive crap???? A friend who is all me me me all the time???  In laws who don't think you're raising your kids right? A boss that talks over you in meetings and takes credit for your work??? A Special Education Director that violates FAPE every time they open their mouth??? That know-it-all elderly person who tells you should give your kid a good smack???? Ever wish you could just tape their mouth shut well now you can!!!!..... Introducing STFU tape....

For just $9.95 plus shipping & handling and you'll never have to listen to whining or stupidity again. Simply peel off the appropriate length of STFU TAPE  and place it over the morons mouth and PRESTO. Silence!!!  I'm from Jersey so I'm not stupid enough to double this offer. But I do have a celebrity endorser.

Call 888-STFU-NOW to place your order. Enjoy your moron free day!!!

Dancing

Maybe we will never dance together at his wedding,

But every morning, Boy Wonder comes up to me in the kitchen

And says in his halting soft spoken way,

"Mommy.... I.... want.....dance.....please."

And so I spin my sweet boy until he's had enough.

And he squeezes me tight and runs away giggling.

I will take that sweet moment with my boy everyday.

Classy & Fabulous Four

A girl should be two things; Classy and Fabulous

Coco Chanel

Amazing

Fabulous

Smart

Hilarious

Giggly

Silly

Girly

Gorgeous

Loving

All these words don't even begin to describe what a fantastic little girl you are, Diva. Happy 4th Birthday. May you always be as happy as you are today. Mommy loves you.