The Other Side of The Double Edge Sword

Tomorrow is the preschool picnic for THE DIVA. It will be a big difference from Boy Wonder's preschool picnic last year. She will participate, sing and laugh. Knowing her love of an audience she will put on quite the show during the sing-a-long. Her self-confidence and her misguided belief that she can sing are a joyful and hilarious sight to behold. But Boy Wonder will be in there in the back of my mind as I watch the kids from his old class participate. The ease with which things come to THE DIVA are a gift to watch. But my eyes will drift to the kids from Boy Wonder's old class because while I know their parents are thrilled to see their kids in a school program, it is hard to see your kids alongside their typical peers. And I know what will be going on behind those too bright smiles.

But tomorrow is THE DIVA'S day. She has worked hard for it and she deserves my undivided attention.  So I will try for just a little while to shrug off my Autism Mama sash for my little girl who needs me to that for her every once in a while.

Never Feel Guilty

Editor's Note: This post was inspired by a conversation with my friend Sassy. She's like New England's version of Posh Spice crossed with  a Kennedy only more gorgeous and waaaaaay funnier.

Never feel guilty for doing what's right for your child.

I will knowingly lie and deceive and feel no guilt.

The Special Ed Director is not my friend.

 Nor is the case manager,

social worker,

school psychologist,

behavior analyst,

occupational therapist,

physical therapist

or speech therapist.

They do not know my child the way I do.

 They are bound by

politics,

rhetoric,

 budgets

and their own short sightedness.

Some of these people are even grossly incompetent.

My child is entitled to an appropriate education.

If I have to lie to get him what he deserves,

I will feel no guilt.

Because he is MY child. 

A Hot Date With My Guy

Boy Wonder needed new sneakers. So I took him off to the mall this morning alone. Just him and I for a nice and rare change of pace. No crazy girls in the stroller demanding things and carrying on.  Boy Wonder has very few things he insists upon but when we go to the mall we must park in a certain lot, go in a certain door and then go directly to the bulk candy stand for swedish fish. Don't even think about skipping it or going in a different door. There are no quick stealth trips to the mall with him.  We went and got his sneakers and practiced walking without holding hands but staying close. We rode the escalator for close to half an hour and just wandered. As we passed the food court, Boy Wonder stopped and looked around and walked into the food court. He looked to make sure I was behind him and then continued to walk quickly (ok vocal stimmed and galloped. same difference at this point for me.) to the back of the food court. He stopped and stood with an expectant look on his face. I asked him, "What do you want, Bobo?" He said, "Mommy, I want pizza, please." So he got his pizza AND being the liberated evolved kind of guy he is, Boy Wonder let me pay for him, too.

Cross Country

Because a 14 year age difference doesn't mean a thing. Because genetics are at play in a twisted sense of humor, wonky left hips and evil grins. Because she is an amazing person who gets Boy Wonder, can get the DIVA calm more quickly in a way you only wish you could and who named Sweet Baby Girl because hey I was out of names.  Super Cuzzy moves 3, 000 miles away this week. We will miss her weekend visits that are planned via last minute texts. She's on to her next adventure courtesy of Uncle Sam. She'll be farther away but hey I've got frequent flier miles and I know how to use them.

We love you SuperCuzzy!

Gone

At the Walk Now for Autism event, I looked away for a  minute while Boy Wonder sat in the double stroller. When I looked back he was gone. Vanished. No where in sight. My friend informed security while Big Daddy and I started to run through the crowd. I went out to the parking lots. Running, looking and praying. There's no way he could have made it out to the road. Someone would have had to notice, especially here, that he's alone and lost and profoundly autistic.

They found him 10 minutes later hiding behind the bounce house.  I will never look away again. I have followed him from room to room in the house since Sunday. All the doors and the windows are locked. And it will be along time before I trust myself again. 

Self Service

It appears we have been perhaps holding Boy Wonder back in his independent living skills. He has taken to getting himself his own food.

On Mother's Day, he was tired of waiting for cake. He had the three key ingredients. Inspiration, opportunity and motivation in the form of chocolate cake.

He enjoyed himself immensely till I walked in the kitchen at his aunt's house and snagged him chowing down. I got the big Oh Hi Mommy grin.

Monday morning, I hear an odd sound as I come down the stairs. I go in the kitchen and find that Boy Wonder has poured himself, the counter and the floor some chocolate milk. We cleaned that up together.

Tuesday afternoon, I'm in the kitchen making dinner. Boy Wonder comes strolling in, opens the cabinet and gets himself a plate. I don't stop him as I'm interested in seeing where he's going with this mission. He strolls over to the fridge, gets out some chicken nuggets.  I keep waiting for him to tell me in his whispery voice,"I want chicken please." but he doesn't he just keeps on going. He opens the ziploc bag and puts some chicken nuggets on the plate, opens the microwave, sticks his head in and looks around. He pull his head out, puts the plate in and slams the door shut. He studies the control panel for a few seconds and decides 10 minutes for 4 chicken nuggets looks about right except ummm yeah they'd explode. (No you may not ask how I know this information. You'll just take my word for it and like it.) I stopped the microwave and helped him push the 30 second button. He stood patiently waiting peering through the window. Once the microwave beeped, he said, "All done" opened the door and took out his plate of chicken nuggets, left the microwave door wide open, put his plate on the kitchen table and ate his self made dinner.

My Boy Wonder wants to start doing things on his own. I am thrilled. Next task we are working on you ask? Bathroom cleaning!! Mommy's not stupid.

For My Kids On Mother's Day 2012

Editor's Note: This is my annual Mother's Day post. 

It's relevant every year since I originally wrote it. 

I've only updated the pictures.

For the one who is proving the doctors wrong.

For the one who makes me laugh till I have tears streaming down my face.

For the one who was a total utter surprise but is a joyous smiley baby little girl.

For making me a better person because
you have shown me what really matters.

For teaching me what love is really all about.

For the smiles, giggles and utter silliness.

For sleepy hugs.

For I love yous.

For a reason to get up in the morning.

For showing me what real determination  is to each of you.

For the everyday gift of being your Mommy.

I love each and everyone one of you
for exactly who you are at this very moment.

Happy Mother’s Day!