Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Deep End of the Pool

Do you know my fabulous friend Jess over at A Diary of a Mom? Please go read this post of hers before you proceed. I'll wait. Cue Jeopardy Music.

Done? Ok good. Let's get started then.

We swim in the deep end of the autism pool. Maybe not the deepest murkiest part but we are in pretty deep. Yes Boy Wonder is not very verbal. His social skills and play skills fairly non existent. He struggles to express his most basic wants and needs while we struggle to understand him.

But our struggles are just that. OUR struggles not your struggles. While your struggles are in the shallower end pool, they are no less challenging just different.

I've never once wished that Boy Wonder was less autistic, had HFA or Asperger's.  I've wished he didn't have autism at all. I wish no parent ever had to hear,"Your child has autism."

I empathize with your struggles and I celebrate your child's victories. But never once have I thought that your child has it easier then mine. I just think their challenges are different.

I don't want more company down in the deep end of the pool. It's crowded enough down here.


  1. The interesting thing that I *keep* on learning (well, ok, I forget and then am reminded in big ways all the time) is that autism is NOT static. Our children change and grow, learn and develop all the time. What we see today isn't what we'll see a month from now. Sometimes that helps me keep going when it's tough.

  2. I do keep in mind that someday we could all be swimming in the shallow end or kicked out of the pool entirely. Here's to hope!

  3. you have such a perfect way with words. There are days when I wish we weren't in the pool. But since we are, there isn't anyone I'd rather be swimming with than you.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Early on we felt as though we were drowning in "the pool".....okay who am I kidding, I was drowning. 7 years later, no longer drowning, but I hate swimming, even if we are swimming along nicely, I still hate it.

  6. Honey - you are a gem. I just had this conversation with a mom swallowing a new diagnosis for her child (not autism). She was actually hesitant to say anything to me and another mom because our kids live with autism.

    When it's your kid - it's huge - no matter what end of the pool your treading water in.

    Love you, Mama.

  7. wish we weren't in the pool, but so thankful to be in here with you. you help me stay afloat.

    love ya!