Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Unexpected Gift



Because sometimes the unexpected gifts are the things you never planned on but love the most.

Friday, December 21, 2012

#ThisisAutism




The misconceptions this week have been horrifying.  
Autism does not equal evil. 


Thursday, December 13, 2012

No More Apologies

I had to bring Boy Wonder with me when I took the girls to school this morning. As we were walking out of Diva's class, another mom was walking her little girl inside. She had a Dunkin' Donuts bag in her hand. Boy Wonder loves him some munchkins. It was one of his first words. Mr. Eagle Eye can spot a bag or box of munchkins quicker than I don't know what.  Boy Wonder spied the Dunkin' Donuts bag in her hand and tried to take it out of her hand and then I said," I'm sorry. He has autism." and it sounded to me like I was apologizing for his autism. 

I can't and won't apologize for his autism.  I correct his bad behavior just as I do his sisters' bad behavior but he is who he is. His autism is so deeply embedded in him that there is no separation. There is no line to see who he'd be without his autism. I can not apologize for who Boy Wonder is and then expect people to accept him for who he is. 

Because Boy Wonder is a smart, funny, joyful, happy loving brown eyed snuggly boy who happens to have autism. No apologies necessary. 


Friday, December 7, 2012

Be The Woman......

You would like your daughter(s) to be:

financially independent

and better yet,

emotionally independent.

Caring.

Compassionate.

Loving.

Self accepting of their flaws AND

their beauty.

Try new things.

Fail or succeed but

always get back up.

Shine brightly.

Be proud of your differences

and

accepting of others' differences.

Look for the humor in life.

Don't hold a grudge.

Forgive.

Apologize when you are wrong. 

Know when to fight 

And when to walk away. 

Speak up for those who can not do so for themselves.

Let go of the past.

Enjoy the present.

Look forward to the future.

Know that things change 

slowly

and/or

instantly.

Set the example for the woman you would like your daughters to be and your sons to marry.








Monday, November 5, 2012

Restore The Shore


We are here. Alive and grateful that we only lost power for 36 hours. We have heat, electricity and running water.

Our friends and loved ones on the Jersey Shore were not so lucky. They lost everything. My BFF, D and her husband are spearheading a donation drive. They are renting at their own expense a very large U-Haul truck. Please help us fill it.

The people need, diapers, wipes, cleaning supplies, bleach, rubber gloves, toilet paper, paper towels, toothbrushes, toothpaste, feminine hygiene products,  soap, rubber boots, warm adult and children's clothing, coats, hats, blankets, etc. Anything you can think of they need.

 If you would like to donate, please email me at boywondersmom1004@yahoo.com. We are in the Northern New Jersey area. If you can help in anyway, it will be greatly appreciated by this Jersey Girl. 

We are down but we are never out. Why? Cause we're from Jersey.


Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Other Two Reasons I Run (Run for My Girls)

Mommy, you're going running again??? Can't you stay home?
~Diva

Mama, watch me watch me. I run fast just like you. Give me a medal.
~Sweet Baby Girl

I don't only run to raise awareness and fund raise for Boy Wonder, although I'd run barefoot across the surface of the sun for that kid if it would help him.  I run for my girls who will grow up as siblings to a brother with serious special needs. I run for the girls because their happiness is just as important as their brother's although at times to them it may not feel like it. 

I can not change the fact that Boy Wonder has autism. What I am trying to prevent is my girls from hearing is "your child has autism." I would like  my girls to never know this heartache. I'd like for them to never know worry and fear, sleepless nights over your child's future who can't take care of themselves. 

So I don't only run for my son, Boy Wonder but for his sisters who love him fiercely and who often deserves more then they get in the way of time and attention but all I do is for them too. Especially the running.


Thursday, October 4, 2012

Seven

Seven years....

of big silly grins

delicious belly laughs

of those big brown eyes

puckered up kisses

carrying you on my left hip

of ups and downs

of small and big miracles

of pure unadulterated love


Happy 7th Birthday Boy Wonder!!

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Joint Attention

Boy Wonder, age 2 years 1 month, presents with a complete lack of joint attention.
Boy Wonder's Initial Evaluation 
November 9, 2007

One of the best things about parenting small children, ya know other then the whining and your pants being a walking tissue, is seeing the wonder and laughter in their faces when they experience things for the first time and their little faces looking back at you to see if you are seeing and experiencing what they are experiencing.  That type of connection with your child is what every parent expects but when you have a child with autism those moments are hard to come by. They are focused inward. You fight your way into their world and try to bring them out to your world. You wait for that connection and in our case we waited years. 

While not a daily occurrence, joint attention does happen more and more with Boy Wonder. We took all of them to the Bronx Zoo on Saturday.  They had a Dora and Diego 4-D short film exhibit about a robot butterfly. We were hesitant to take Boy Wonder in. Would he keep the glasses on? Would he vocal stim loudly to the point of annoying other people? Would he just flip out and need to be taken out quickly? We looked inside the theater. It wasn't even a quarter of the way filled. We decided to sit in the front row with Boy Wonder and Big Daddy positioned near the exit. Boy Wonder decided he'd sit on his Daddy's lap.  As the lights went down we put the 4-D glasses on him and Dora and Diego sprang out at him and he laughed, his big delicious belly laugh. He watched the butterflies come dancing onto the screen and reached out to touch them and then he looked over at me to see if I was watching and laughing too and when he saw I was laughing,  he laughed harder. That connection is all that more meaningful because it's been an uphill battle and we are rewarded with the sweetest victory.


Friday, September 21, 2012

Boston The Good The Bad The Ugly

It was a gorgeous morning to run. Bright, clear and cool which is just the way I like it but I hadn't slept well the night before because as usual the mind stays on all the damn time. I was thinking about Boy Wonder who has made some great progress lately but who has some old aggressive behaviors crop up. I was thinking about my friend who wasn't there. And always thinking about how did I get here from 19 months ago without having ever really run.


 I was really grateful for my friends, Jess and Luau and their beautiful girls who let me stay with them and are just fabulous friends. Again the whole autism sucks thing but wow I have made some amazing friends because of autism. (click their names and read their race recaps) I could tell you that their Katie gives me a glimpse into what it's like to have a tween cause shopping was hilarious (go to Sephora with her cause it was fun) and she is a smart charming beautiful compassionate young lady and hell if my girls are half of what she is I will consider it a job well done.  Or that Brooke has quite the sense of humor and wow she can draw or that when she calls me Jersey in that sweet little voice of hers my heart melts. I could tell you that I finally met Paula and what an awesome person she is and that I'm so touched that she ran one of her miles in honor of my son.

But the morning of the race, we load up and head in. It was a quick ride. I'm shaking off the lack of sleep, fooling around being me, remind myself that this is my 3rd half marathon this year. (NYC Half and the Asbury Half, thank you very much) and that I am capable of this and want to beat my Asbury time. I think of my boy who they said would never speak and never connect and remind myself that he can talk and oh boy does he connect. I think of my girls who always ask when I get back from a race,"Did you win Mommy? Can I wear your medal?" and how they are surprising me already with just how much they get their big brother.

We find Sassy and Doug and make our way to the start line. Doug and I trash talk cause hey it's what we do. (I'm way better at it though ssshhhh) Sassy is all cute and sassy in her running skirt. We hug Jess and promise to look for her on the course and  we are off. We are moving along the four of us. Me cursing, Sassy looking cute, Doug and Luau chatting like tween girls. (Sorry boys lol)  At some point Doug tears his calf muscle and pulls over but he makes a comeback.  And somewhere around mile 8 or 9 I can't keep up the 9 minute per mile pace. The sight of all the Team UP shirts is starting to get to me. It's an overwhelming sight and yet it's only a very small piece of the enormous pie.  Sassy takes off and Luau stays with me cause he's good like that.   And Doug comes tearing past us and I know I'm losing my bet to him.

We get to the last half mile or so and Luau says, "After this hill, you've got it. We're almost there." I may have screamed at this point,"What the fuck you said the course was flat?????!!!" really really loudly.

And I finish in 2:04:44 beating my Asbury Half time by a whole 3 seconds.



Suffolk Downs after the race


Monday, September 17, 2012

Friday, September 14, 2012

Three Words

Those three words they told you that you would most likely never hear from your profoundly autistic non verbal child. They were wrong. He's come a very long way in 5 years. He's no longer locked away. He comes out further each day. He laughs. He plays in his own way. He's engaging. He's affectionate. His smile and giggle light up the world. And those three words you thought you would never ever hear from him, you hear them.

video

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is a promise to no one
~Clint Eastwood



We’d been up at the top of the towers the weekend before it happened. The next week the NYC skyline, we had all grown up with was changed irrevocably. Lives were changed. Lives were lost. Families, friends and loved ones gone in an instant of carefully planned insanity. Their tomorrows were gone.  Potential unfulfilled, dreams lost and the last chance for an apology or an I love you gone.

Choose to live the life you want. Choose to love freely, openly and passionately. Pursue your dreams. Find the humor in every situation. Don’t be afraid of change because life will bring you change whether you want it or not. Learn, grow, try new things. Get out there and live the life that was taken from so many on this day.  What are you waiting for? 


 

 

Monday, September 10, 2012

And Then There Were None





And they were off to school. My house is empty and quiet for the first time in years. I love them all madly but the peace and quiet were hard earned and are needed. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go jump on the couch and then do my own schoolwork.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Visiting Or Solange Takes a Road Trip

So last year I was given the honor of hosting Solange, the village's giant metal chicken mascot, by Rachel over at Stim City.   The deal is that our chicken gets passed on to members of our village who needed the laugh and the reminder of our connection and love for each other. Solange was inspired by the Bloggess' Beyonce who taught us to laugh and to pick our battles.

So Friday afternoon, I loaded Solange up and we headed out.
 

      Solange called shotgun but I thought driving up the highway with a giant metal chicken in the front seat would get me pulled over.  So it was the trunk for him. 


And we were off to visit friends. Traffic got me where we were going way later then I intended. Solange was not thrilled with his excessive time in the trunk. There was some angry clucking coming from the back of the truck. Finally we arrived at our destination. It was time for a little Knock Knock MoFo.





The front door was opened and Solange was greeted with laughter from Jess, Luau, Katie and Brooke. 

I had a wonderful weekend with all of them. We went to an autism event and I got to see one of my favorite people ever.


Jersey & Texas together again.

I collected some shells for DIVA  and Sweet Baby Girl.


 And saw some beautiful views.


And then Sunday morning I got to run with the Team Up with Autism Speaks Boston team with Luau. I showed them how we run Jersey style. Oh you want to donate?? CLICK HERE



Then our running buddy Doug who couldn't make the training run came looking for us.  He asked Luau where I was. Luau told Doug she's up a bit she's wearing.... forget it you'll know it when you see her. He found me alright.

Doug, Me & Luau

We met up with the rest of the group for a picture. 



              
I had a wonderful weekend with friends. It was a whirlwind but I really enjoyed it. 

I had some very interesting conversations with Katie. To see her interact with Brooke and watch her really get her sister is a beautiful thing. I am beginning to see it in my own girls with Boy Wonder. Katie and Brooke give me hope that the kind of relationship I would like my girls to have with their brother is a very real possibility. 

And then after a quick picture with Jess and Solange it was time to hit the road. My babies were on a plane and headed home.  Back to reality.








Wednesday, August 8, 2012

240 Hours or #yearoftheoxygenmask round 2

240 hours or 10 days. Boy Wonder, DIVA and Sweet Baby Girl are off with Big Daddy to California for a visit with their grandparents, aunt, uncle and cousins. I am staying home. I have finals exams and other things to take care of while they're gone.

I have plans to get to the beach, lunch with girlfriends and a weekend trip. I need a break from all of them. I admit it. I can not to do all the things I do at a breakneck speed without a break. I have earned this break. Having a child with autism and plus three kids all together so close in age is like parenting at warp speed some days. Whoever said the years are short and the days are long was so right.

I need to put the oxygen mask on for a while. I need time to reflect on the last year, make peace with some things and plan for the future. I need to do things for me so I can continue to do for my three babies.  I'll miss them but right now I miss me more. I'm tired, restless and can't focus.

So don't look for me here. I'll be enjoying the peace and quiet.

Ed. Note: To learn more about the Oxygen Mask Project, please click here. You can also follow the Oxygen Mask Project on Twitter @OxygenMaskProj. You can also visit their Facebook page at The Oxygen Mask Project.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Parenting & Freedom of Choice

When you judge another, 
you do not define them,
you define yourself.
~Wayne Dyer



I do not usually engage in conversations about politics, religion or other peoples parenting choices. However, if you are going to presume to tell me how to parent my children well then, hey, let's go. Jersey just took her earrings off and put her hair in a ponytail. I am not thrilled with some of you.

I parent my children in the way that is best for them at this moment in time. For Boy Wonder that means ABA, attending public school and home therapies. It means a no tolerance policy of his aggressive behaviors. This is what is working for him. He can not communicate most of his thoughts and feelings to me. I have to guess all day everyday. I am filled with self-doubt on a regular basis. I have tried bio-med therapies and therapies other than ABA. They did not work for MY SON.

I know people for who the special diets, DIR/Floortime and other alternative therapies have worked. I am thrilled for them that THEIR CHOICES worked for THEIR CHILD. I am thrilled when any parents choices work for THEIR CHILD because it means they are parenting THEIR CHILD in the way that is best for THAT CHILD.

Now I'm going to rant.....

You do not know me. You do not know my son the way I know him. I parent him to the best of my capabilities. I play to his strengths and strive to overcome his deficits. I dislike intensely his autism. I have wondered every day for nearly 7 years what he is thinking and feeling. I see my child through a thick glass wall. He is yelling to me but I have to interpret and guess and make the best choices on limited information. I am alternately loving and stern with Boy Wonder depending on the day and situation.

I work on the assumption that he understands every word I say. I never say anything negative about him in front of him. I do not tolerate anyone else doing it either.  I realized that this was not the way to go years ago. After reading Carly's Voice, I knew that it was a great freaking parenting choice.

I am preparing for two different futures for my son. One in which he can live independently which is not likely and one in which he will need to live in a group home which is the one that is currently likely. I strive to change that every day. I also on occasion pray for it too. 

So for your review, I do not judge your parenting choices of your special needs kid. You are doing what works for your child. I am doing what works for MY CHILD. I am entitled to my thoughts and feelings on Boy Wonder's particular brand of autism just as you are entitled to your thoughts and feelings on YOUR CHILD'S autism.

For the adults on the spectrum who feel their parents didn't parent them in the way they would liked to be parented, I am sorry for your pain and experiences. I value your opinions. You are the ones leading the way for my son and other children on the spectrum. I try to learn from you. Your insight offers me a wonderful perspective. I appreciate and value it. At the end of the day, I am just trying to do the right thing for my son and for me that path is not always clear.


We ask people outside our community to treat us and our children with respect. How can we have the audacity to do that when we can’t treat each others choices with respect?
 

 

Monday, August 6, 2012

Try Something Else

There is no direct map from getting from point A to point B with autism. You try things they work for awhile then they stop working. Or there's that dirty word, regression.

We made the decision a year ago to put Boy Wonder on risperdone. Putting a not quite 5 year old on an anti-psychotic was not quite the parenting decision I ever imagined I'd make. Aggressive behavior towards me, self injurious hand biting to the point his hand bore teeth marks constantly like the inside of a mouth guard, lack of focus, and waking up for the day at 3 AM and off the wall vocal stimming forced our hand. We had no choice. Every behavior plan did nothing.

So we put him on the medicine and the effect was profound. His hand no longer bore teeth marks. He didn't go after me. I was allowed to sit at the kitchen table without him getting made or pulling me off my chair. The vocal stimming was tolerable.

But then he began to pee his pants which is a side effect. The boy who was on the edge of being fully toilet trained after 5 long years of potty training. His bloodwork came back with cholesterol just below stroke level. The hand biting has returned. I've been bitten and slapped and pulled off the kitchen chair. The vocal stimming is so loud and goes on for hours. He is back to getting up at 3 AM once or twice a week. Risperdone is no longer working. We only are getting the side effects now.

So back we go to the pediatric neurologist for help because even though I was so against the medicine at first, it helped him gain so much ground. Big Daddy and I are capable of making the tough decisions for Boy Wonder but it sucks.

There is a bright beautiful intelligent little boy locked away in his autism. We get glimpses of it every day. In the big smiles. In the silly giggles. In the games we play. In the fact that he is learning to read and do math. Whatever we have to do to help him struggle less and help him reach his potential we will do it.

 

Monday, July 30, 2012

Cause the DIVA is FUNNY

 Mirror, Mirror on the wall,
Who's the fairest of them all?
Evil Queen, Snow White


Several weeks ago as we were on the check out line, the cashier said to DIVA," Aren't you a pretty princess? Is this your mommy? You look just like her."  To which DIVA respsonded," THAT'S NOT MY MOTHER. SHE'S THE EVIL QUEEN."

Yes yes I am the Evil Queen. Still doesn't keep these kids in line but hey it's a promotion from domestic slave.


Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Soundtrack of My Summer ( A SAHM Made up Playlist)

Editor's Note: OMFG sick of my own whining and introspection. Someone smack me. In an effort to get over my own bullshit, I shall mock myself and my kids for your entertainment. Enjoy!!!

1. I See Your Butt (Pull Up Your Damn Pants!)

2. No No No No No (I Said NOOOOOO!!!)

3. The Whining Song (Oh God Make It Stop!!!)))

4. My Kids Are Nekkid in the Driveway (Must Be Summer)

5. Is 10 AM Too Early for Tequila? (No Seriously)

6. Don't Drink from the Puddles (You'll Get The Shits)

7. Stop Touching Each Other

8. Oh God It's Only 3 O'clock ( Praying for Bedtime)

9. Where's Big Daddy? (Cause Why Should I Have All The Fun?)

10. Late Afternoon Nap Blues (Shoot Me Now)

11. Begging for Ice Pops (All Damn Day)

12.  You're Turning Me Into Grandma (Cause I Said I'd Never Say That)

13. I Love You Mommy (Can I Have Candy?)

14. Even Stevens (Not Just For Kids for Spouses Too)

15. 3 Kids and A Crazy Lady (Never Go to Target Alone)

16. Dreaming of September (Hurry the Fuck Up)

Bonus Track: There's Nothing Here for YOU to See (Mind Your Own Fucking Business)






Tuesday, July 24, 2012

4:50 am

It's the same as it's been for 18 months. The alarm goes off and I'm up. Throw on the sneakers and turn on the iPod. Out I go for miles because the physical pain is easier to bear then the worry and fear. We won't even discuss the anger. I push myself up the hills at faster paces till my lungs burn and my legs cramp. I run like  a child on the downhill because downhill is easy but I've never done easy. Because the last year has been a fucking roller coaster of the unexpected. Up and down, twisting then right side up then upside down. The highest of highs and the lowest of lows. The realization that the time for a miracle for Boy Wonder has come and gone. That being self reliant is the only way for me. That some things can not be fixed no matter how I try. That walls are necessary and trust is earned. That I am one of the few people unafraid of change. But my kids are happy so I am doing something right. Time to let go and move on. I've done it before I can do it again.




White knuckles and sweaty palms from hanging on too tight
Clench of jaw, I've got another headache again tonight
Eyes on fire, eyes on fire, and the burn from all the tears
I've been crying, I've been crying, I've been dying over you
Tie a knot in the rope, trying to hold, trying to hold,
But there's nothing to grab so I let go 


Blow Me (One Last Kiss) P!nk






 

Saturday, July 14, 2012

A Day At The Beach In Pictures



We skipped housework this weekend so excuse the mess.   


And we headed to our favorite place


THE BEACH!!!



A Handsome Sensory Seeker's Heaven!!



World's Most Gorgeous Mermaid!!


I will build a sandcastle than smash it than build it again. 


Love this face..


and this face.....


and this face!!!!


Digging in the sand. 


Waiting for lunch to be served. 


Topped off by dinner out!!!


And Boy Wonder had apparently had enough of Sass and Brass Tacks today. 
Mommy's not stupid. I went and sat with Boy Wonder. 
But I do hope they remember what a good time they had today TOGETHER.













Sunday, July 8, 2012

Mile 18

"Mile 18 almost broke me."
One of my tweets from the 2011 NYC Marathon.


There has been a lot of Mile 18s lately. I have come to accept them as part of my life. And while I may walk or crawl the next few miles, I am never out or down for long. Mile 18 is part of everyone's life. You may call it something else but we all have those days and weeks. I have the power to make myself happy and my children happy. Sometimes other people add to our happiness. Sometimes it's for the long term and sometimes only the short term.
So tomorrow morning when I lace up my running shoes and head out the door, I will think of Winston Churchill's quote, "If you're going through Hell, keep going."  I'll keep going because I know that Mile 23 is never as far as I think it is and that I never know who will be waiting there.  I have faith and hope and for now that's enough.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Easy vs. Hard

Sweet Baby Girl started camp yesterday for two morning a week. She is so ready. She needs it and after almost 7 years of full time mommyhood I need a break. My friend (you know who you are) asked if I had a hard time sending her off to be a "big girl". My answer was no. Every developmental milestone and rite of passage that SBG and DIVA serve up on a silver platter is cause for celebration for me. While I, on a rare occasion, miss the baby days with each milestone they hit I breathe a little easier.  This is easy. Hard was putting Boy Wonder on the "short bus" at 3 years old but sending the girls off to grow, learn and develop is easy.


Thursday, June 14, 2012

The Other Side of The Double Edge Sword

Tomorrow is the preschool picnic for THE DIVA. It will be a big difference from Boy Wonder's preschool picnic last year. She will participate, sing and laugh. Knowing her love of an audience she will put on quite the show during the sing-a-long. Her self-confidence and her misguided belief that she can sing are a joyful and hilarious sight to behold. But Boy Wonder will be in there in the back of my mind as I watch the kids from his old class participate. The ease with which things come to THE DIVA are a gift to watch. But my eyes will drift to the kids from Boy Wonder's old class because while I know their parents are thrilled to see their kids in a school program, it is hard to see your kids alongside their typical peers. And I know what will be going on behind those too bright smiles.

But tomorrow is THE DIVA'S day. She has worked hard for it and she deserves my undivided attention.  So I will try for just a little while to shrug off my Autism Mama sash for my little girl who needs me to that for her every once in a while.


Thursday, June 7, 2012

Never Feel Guilty

Editor's Note: This post was inspired by a conversation with my friend Sassy. She's like New England's version of Posh Spice crossed with  a Kennedy only more gorgeous and waaaaaay funnier.

Never feel guilty for doing what's right for your child.

I will knowingly lie and deceive and feel no guilt.

The Special Ed Director is not my friend.

 Nor is the case manager,

social worker,

school psychologist,

behavior analyst,

occupational therapist,

physical therapist

or speech therapist.

They do not know my child the way I do.

 They are bound by

politics,

rhetoric,

 budgets

and their own short sightedness.

Some of these people are even grossly incompetent.

My child is entitled to an appropriate education.

If I have to lie to get him what he deserves,

I will feel no guilt.

Because he is MY child. 



Sunday, June 3, 2012

A Hot Date With My Guy

Boy Wonder needed new sneakers. So I took him off to the mall this morning alone. Just him and I for a nice and rare change of pace. No crazy girls in the stroller demanding things and carrying on.  Boy Wonder has very few things he insists upon but when we go to the mall we must park in a certain lot, go in a certain door and then go directly to the bulk candy stand for swedish fish. Don't even think about skipping it or going in a different door. There are no quick stealth trips to the mall with him.  We went and got his sneakers and practiced walking without holding hands but staying close. We rode the escalator for close to half an hour and just wandered. As we passed the food court, Boy Wonder stopped and looked around and walked into the food court. He looked to make sure I was behind him and then continued to walk quickly (ok vocal stimmed and galloped. same difference at this point for me.) to the back of the food court. He stopped and stood with an expectant look on his face. I asked him, "What do you want, Bobo?" He said, "Mommy, I want pizza, please." So he got his pizza AND being the liberated evolved kind of guy he is, Boy Wonder let me pay for him, too.


Saturday, May 26, 2012

Cross Country




Because a 14 year age difference doesn't mean a thing. Because genetics are at play in a twisted sense of humor, wonky left hips and evil grins. Because she is an amazing person who gets Boy Wonder, can get the DIVA calm more quickly in a way you only wish you could and who named Sweet Baby Girl because hey I was out of names.  Super Cuzzy moves 3, 000 miles away this week. We will miss her weekend visits that are planned via last minute texts. She's on to her next adventure courtesy of Uncle Sam. She'll be farther away but hey I've got frequent flier miles and I know how to use them.

We love you SuperCuzzy!


Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Gone

At the Walk Now for Autism event, I looked away for a  minute while Boy Wonder sat in the double stroller. When I looked back he was gone. Vanished. No where in sight. My friend informed security while Big Daddy and I started to run through the crowd. I went out to the parking lots. Running, looking and praying. There's no way he could have made it out to the road. Someone would have had to notice, especially here, that he's alone and lost and profoundly autistic.

They found him 10 minutes later hiding behind the bounce house.  I will never look away again. I have followed him from room to room in the house since Sunday. All the doors and the windows are locked. And it will be along time before I trust myself again. 



Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Self Service



It appears we have been perhaps holding Boy Wonder back in his independent living skills. He has taken to getting himself his own food.

On Mother's Day, he was tired of waiting for cake. He had the three key ingredients. Inspiration, opportunity and motivation in the form of chocolate cake.

He enjoyed himself immensely till I walked in the kitchen at his aunt's house and snagged him chowing down. I got the big Oh Hi Mommy grin.

Monday morning, I hear an odd sound as I come down the stairs. I go in the kitchen and find that Boy Wonder has poured himself, the counter and the floor some chocolate milk. We cleaned that up together.

Tuesday afternoon, I'm in the kitchen making dinner. Boy Wonder comes strolling in, opens the cabinet and gets himself a plate. I don't stop him as I'm interested in seeing where he's going with this mission. He strolls over to the fridge, gets out some chicken nuggets.  I keep waiting for him to tell me in his whispery voice,"I want chicken please." but he doesn't he just keeps on going. He opens the ziploc bag and puts some chicken nuggets on the plate, opens the microwave, sticks his head in and looks around. He pull his head out, puts the plate in and slams the door shut. He studies the control panel for a few seconds and decides 10 minutes for 4 chicken nuggets looks about right except ummm yeah they'd explode. (No you may not ask how I know this information. You'll just take my word for it and like it.) I stopped the microwave and helped him push the 30 second button. He stood patiently waiting peering through the window. Once the microwave beeped, he said, "All done" opened the door and took out his plate of chicken nuggets, left the microwave door wide open, put his plate on the kitchen table and ate his self made dinner.



My Boy Wonder wants to start doing things on his own. I am thrilled. Next task we are working on you ask? Bathroom cleaning!! Mommy's not stupid.