Monday, December 12, 2011

The Race (The Art of the Reframe)

against windows of opportunity closing.

against a progress report that makes no sense.

with a map that makes no sense because there is no direct route from point A to point B with autism.

against discrimination.

against underestimating Boy Wonder.

against self-doubt and self-blame.

against those who are opposed to children and adults with autism getting the services they need.


to be ready for windows of opportunity.

for real progress.

for a concrete plan of action that will get us from point A to point B.

for acceptance.

for helping Boy Wonder reach his full potential.

for hope and belief in the future.

for advocating endlessly to get children and adults with autism the services they need.

I needed a reframe after a miserable progress report and a miserable trip to Toys R Us trying to figure out what to get Boy Wonder for Christmas.   Some days it all comes together and some days it all falls apart.


  1. I chose to be ready. Because if we aren't the proactive ready ones, no one else will be either. We'll do it together as your village so we aten't swallowed whole separately.

  2. Always good to be prepared. Helps make getting out of the rabbit hole easier. xo

  3. Also for accepting that our kids don't develop in a straight trajectory (really no one does). A bad day/week/month/season might just mean he is really working on something that will show up down the pike, and by not fighting the tides, you will be ready for it!

  4. I came across your blog after wordpress featured a post by one of your followers led me through the magic superhighway of the internet. Your attitude to your children is amazing - especially that you see them all as individuals. The idea of reframing our way of thinking as an art, truly crafting the skill, seems to only come to humankind only when we are forced to do so. When the world is turned upside down and we have to tunnel out. If only we all could be a little more accepting - realizing our own universes are like spinning tops all going in different directions and at different speeds - whether we have special needs or not. Which is an ironic term, since as humans we all have special needs... our own unique needs.

    The invisible "disabilities" are the hardest. I was an honor student through school excelling in math, english, history, work in IT now, and am an artist. But try explaining to my parents, my friends, my husband, that I think completely differently than them because every day I fight against the brick wall of my own ADHD. Not the kind that makes you bounce off the walls, but the kind that makes you cower in the corner wondering where your keys are and why you only have on one shoe (and why the other one is in the freezer). They see me as normal, as excellent even. As the happy girl who gets all the answers right. But we all have special needs. Sometimes it's the big stuff that's hard, but for others like me, it is the little day to day stuff that is hard. Even the one's that people think have it "easy" have their own invisible stuggles. The art of the reframe is a daily practice for my husband, and he handles it with grace (even though I can tell he's secretly grinding his teeth!)

    Great attitude and thanks for putting such supporting words out into cyberspace!