Saturday, October 8, 2011

Pushing On

Editor's note: This was originally published elsewhere in April of 2010. 
I'm reposting it here for my mamas who are just getting back into a healthy lifestyle. I'm proud of you. 

*Inspired in part by Luau. Go see him!
4:07 a.m. Alarm
4:15 a.m. the whir of the elliptical trainer begins and the angry rock music starts blaring from the iPod.
5 minutes in the sweating starts and the demons start to loosen their death grip.
10 minutes in faster I go. Hopelessness just lost his grip.
15 minutes in the sweat starts to pour as I turn up the resistance and raise the incline. Rage falls away.
2o minutes in breathing hard letting go as Sadness gets crunched in the fly wheel.
25 to 5o minutes in the zone. No thoughts other then pushing on and through the fire as my legs burn.
50 to 55 minutes I begin to slow down as  the sky begins to lighten and I hear one or another of my little tribe of hooligans begin to stir.
Why you ask? For my sanity and health so I can be here for them because who will care for Boy Wonder when I’m gone? I need to be here as long as possible. So I can walk the walk of a Special Needs Mommy. So I can breathe deeply and calmly when chaos seems to rule the day. To set an example for my girls that a strong woman is a beautiful thing and that weak and helpless isn’t cute. So I push on each and every day for myself but mostly for them.


  1. I love this. Love it, love it, love it. Well, except 4:15 plus five hours.

  2. haha yes well we all know me and sleep aren't BFFs. lol

  3. this is perfect. this is exactly what I need. I wish you could come here and drag me out and keep me company.