Wednesday, November 9, 2011

You'll Make It Ok

4 years ago today, at 2 years 1 month and 5 days old, Boy Wonder was diagnosed with autism. When we left for the doctor's office that day, we weren't expecting to hear those words. It was the first time I ever felt real fear and sorrow. I remember crying hysterically and the doctor telling Big Daddy," She needs to get herself under control before she hurts herself and the baby she's carrying."   These are the things I wish I knew the first year.

  • The first year sucks but you'll find Jess, Judith, Jeneil, Pixie and Tanya. They get you through it.
  • Some people disappear. Some come back but many do not. You make new friends though.
  • D. sticks by you. She gets Boy Wonder. She remembers this day every year and makes sure to call you.  
  • That there's always room in the rabbit hole for just one more and there's always a hand to pull you out.
  • Big Daddy goes to every meeting concerning Boy Wonder. EVERY MEETING. You never face the firing squad alone.
  • When the doctor said BW would never talk, HE WAS WRONG.
  • When he said he would never show love, HE WAS WRONG
  • When he said he'd never initiate play, HE WAS WRONG
  • The baby, you're carrying, THE DIVA, she's fine.
  • And the Surprise, Sweet Baby Girl who comes along just 22 months after THE DIVA, she's fine, too.
  • You'll finish a marathon in Boy Wonder's honor and his buddies from across town and across the country.
  • You find the village. The sister mamas. The ones who tell you and who you tell when things go awry, you'll make it ok.
But what I really wish I knew on that awful day was that in the end, I'm strong enough to make it ok for my Boy Wonder, and his sisters. I may have to ask for help along the way but I will make it ok because there is no other choice. 


  1. And, in the process, you will become a source of strength and inspiration for others who are walking the road with you. Love you. xo
    p.s. - that is one of the most adorable pictures of BW!! DAYUM.

  2. And that's just in four years! Imagine what else you'll learn, and teach and what other things Boy Wonder and all our wonderful kids will give the world now that that this village is working to advocate together. Thanks for sharing your strength with those who came after.

  3. You truly are stronger today than ever. You and your perfect Boy have inspired so many with your strength and tenacity -

    Like me.

    Love you!