You'll Make It Ok

4 years ago today, at 2 years 1 month and 5 days old, Boy Wonder was diagnosed with autism. When we left for the doctor's office that day, we weren't expecting to hear those words. It was the first time I ever felt real fear and sorrow. I remember crying hysterically and the doctor telling Big Daddy," She needs to get herself under control before she hurts herself and the baby she's carrying."   These are the things I wish I knew the first year.

• The first year sucks but you'll find Jess, Judith, Jeneil, Pixie and Tanya. They get you through it.
• Some people disappear. Some come back but many do not. You make new friends though.
• D. sticks by you. She gets Boy Wonder. She remembers this day every year and makes sure to call you.  
• That there's always room in the rabbit hole for just one more and there's always a hand to pull you out.
• Big Daddy goes to every meeting concerning Boy Wonder. EVERY MEETING. You never face the firing squad alone.
• When the doctor said BW would never talk, HE WAS WRONG.
• When he said he would never show love, HE WAS WRONG. 
• When he said he'd never initiate play, HE WAS WRONG. 
• The baby, you're carrying, THE DIVA, she's fine.
• And the Surprise, Sweet Baby Girl who comes along just 22 months after THE DIVA, she's fine, too.
• You'll finish a marathon in Boy Wonder's honor and his buddies from across town and across the country.
• You find the village. The sister mamas. The ones who tell you and who you tell when things go awry, you'll make it ok.

But what I really wish I knew on that awful day was that in the end, I'm strong enough to make it ok for my Boy Wonder, and his sisters. I may have to ask for help along the way but I will make it ok because there is no other choice.